A New Year Philosophy

They say life is what happens while you’re making other plans. I was planning to send out Christmas cards this year…then life happened. The cards are still sitting on my desk. I was also planning to write a funny column about quirky neighborhood Christmas gifts…then life happened. The column is half written and saved on my computer.

Maybe I’m just a Christmas underachiever. A lot of things were left undone this year. But you know what…I DID enjoy the holidays with my family without ruining my health and running myself ragged with impossible TO DO lists. It felt great and we all had a wonderful time! This is not normal.

Usually by the time the holidays are over I feel as if I’ve been running a marathon for the past month and my only desire is a long winter’s nap. One year I posted a sign on my bedroom door with directions to the kids to “GO ASK YOUR DAD,” and didn’t come out for two days. Not this year! I feel refreshed, energized and ready to go.

Why did Christmas work so well this year? I attribute it to a new found philosophy I call RIP (no, not Rest in Peace). In fact, RIP was so successful I am adopting it for the New Year. Let me explain. The acronym stands for three basic coping tools:

RATIONALIZE

IGNORE

PROCRASTINATE

Anyone can try them! It will be easy for some, but may take more practice for all those driven perfectionists out there like myself who spend most days trying to save the world.

Here’s how it works. When a stressful thought or task presents itself you start with rationalization. EXAMPLE ONE: “I really should send out these Christmas cards.”

RATIONALIZATION: “Our friends probably get SO many cards and family newsletters this time of year; they will never even notice that we didn’t send one.” (Time saved…two hours writing and printing…three hours addressing and stuffing envelopes…not to mention the cost of postage and the fee for a chiropractic visit to fix a stiff neck.)

EXAMPLE TWO: “I really need to get December’s humor column written and to the editor.”

RATIONALIZATION: “Who has time to read a humor column at this busy time of year? Give people a break!” (Time saved…endless hours of writing and rewriting…then second guessing what I DID write. I may also have saved countless friends from past and present neighborhoods whose Christmas gifts I did NOT poke fun at in my column. The savings in that case would be incalculable.)

OTHER GOOD RATIONALIZATIONS:

“I only set the alarm clock early so I could enjoy hitting the snooze button several times before having to get up.”

“An ounce of dark chocolate for dessert is probably higher in antioxidants than that serving of vegetables I failed to eat for dinner. If one ounce of chocolate is good, then two is probably better. If two ounces of chocolate is better, than three ounces is undoubtedly best!”

You get the idea. When rationalization won’t work, you move on to IGNORE.

This principle can be no better illustrated than by the following true story. My nephew was called in for advice on how to fix a very ugly beam in the vaulted ceiling of a woman’s new home. “It drives me crazy every time I look at it!” She lamented.

“I can fix that,” my nephew confidently replied.

“You can?” the woman asked hopefully.

“Yes, it’s very simple,” he answered.

“HOW?” asked the woman.

“STOP LOOKING AT IT.”

This is a great secret that can be applied to many annoying situations and problems in life. Just stop looking at them.

Of course there are things you simply cannot rationalize or ignore. For these things you can resort to procrastination. It works like this:

“It would be impolite to refuse this delicious food. I’ll start that diet tomorrow….or next week…or next month.”

“If I put off washing those windows until spring it will be safer for the birds.”

“No sense getting the ladder out twice; I’ll change that light bulb over the stairs when they ALL burn out.”

“Why clean out the closet at this point…if I keep those pants a few more years they will probably come back into style.”

“If I study for that test too soon, I’ll just forget what I’ve studied. Better to wait ‘til the last minute so it’s fresh on my mind.”

I’ve known cases when procrastination might even have saved someone a trip to the emergency room…or worse. How many people have been injured trying to get those Christmas lights off the roof in the ice and snow? Better to procrastinate until spring. Better yet, just leave them up for next Christmas. You’ll be way ahead of the game.

Lighten up people. When life becomes too overwhelming and stressful with all those New Year’s resolutions you can always RIP.